The Single Most Annoying Thing About Washing Hair

There's nothing  more punishing on a Monday morning than having to wash your hair.

On top of dealing with Monday blues, grumpy kids, making lunches, packing bags and God forbid, a trip to the shops, the regret of not washing my hair on Sunday is nearly crippling. Why, oh why do I continue to make bad choices?

I could have washed it last night, let it dry naturally and then spent a mere ten minutes straightening the shit out of it before going to work. But no, I didn't bother.

So now I  have to wash it, knowing I'll spend the entire time hearing (or at least thinking I'm hearing) the kids fighting and someone knocking at the door and trying desperately to wash all the conditioner out quickly with the shitty water pressure that is my shower. Then I'll have to blow dry it AND straighten it because my fluffy hair can't be seen in public without this process or a ponytail. I'll be damned if I'm going to go through the hassle of washing it to put it in another bloody ponytail. You with me?

Despite the regret and annoyance of my own actions, there's one thing that ticks me off more.

This:

One of these is shampoo. The  other one is conditioner.

If you've ever washed your hair before, you may be aware that it's important to use both. In the right order.

Which one is which? It should be pretty easy to tell, right? I mean, it's important, yeah? I'm a girl, I should know intuitively, shouldn't I?

NO! I don't know which is which. I have to read them. I have to read the ENTIRE label every time because how freaking hard is it to find the one word on each bottle that you need?

When the clock's ticking, the hot water's running out and the dog is scratching at the door to come in (because she just loves me..naw..) the last thing I want to do is read the entire bloody label just to find out if I'm holding the right bottle. I don't care if it's hydrating or colour friendly or contains more passion fruit than a pavlova. I just want to know if it's bloody shampoo or conditioner.

Big bloody letters. That's all I'm asking for.

Now this is not a dig at Herbal Essences. When it comes to hair products, I have zero brand loyalty. This means I have real experience with this aggravating issue and I am very comfortable pointing the finger at nearly every supermarket brand of hair care.

I must stress it's supermarket brand as that's all I buy. Maybe if I paid $30 a bottle I wouldn't have this additional stress in my life? Rest assured when my lotto numbers come up I'll be at the nearest spa measuring the size of the font on their bottles.

Until then, I beg you, hair care peeps. Stop with the 6 point font for the most important word on the bottle. Please.


Does this shit you up the wall? Does spending more on hair care buy you a bigger label?